Community in Christ

I recently read a New York Times article by Nicholas Kristoff called Let’s Wage War on Loneliness in which Kristoff describes the lonely state of Western culture. Kristoff asserts that 20% of adults in the U.S. report being chronically lonely and 50% of adults in the U.S. live alone. And this was pre-Covid19. Given the current pandemic, I can only imagine what those numbers and needs are like now.

He went on to cite statistics from BYU showing how loneliness causes mental and physical health problems. Countries such as the U.K. have given small businesses grants to buy board games and have created benches where people intentionally sit, with the expectation that they must talk to the person next to them. In Sweden, housing developer Sällbo has created a multi-unit, housing facility in which only adults under 25 and retired folks can live, but they must commit to spending at least two hours per week with someone from a different generation. Needless to say, we have a loneliness problem. However, I believe it is Western culture’s most prized value that causes this sense of isolation—freedom.

With the Enlightenment came the rise of post-modern thinking, and post-modern thinking at its core shifts the source of authority. Before the Enlightenment, authority was always external. Either religious institutions or governments set the standard and people submitted to their authority. But, the Enlightenment moved the source of authority from external to internal; people began to evaluate guidelines set by external authority structures to determine whether or not they agreed with them, thus, placing ultimate authority within the individual. This desire to determine for oneself what is “right” and “wrong” led to subjective morality, and as a byproduct produced the radical autonomy a/k/a freedom that we see in Western cultures today. This freedom is not all bad, in fact, much good has come from it; however, radical freedom works against relationships.

In his book, The Reason for God Tim Keller discusses the inverse relationship between love and autonomy. Keller asserts that in life we exchange autonomy for love. Any married person can attest to this. As one gets married, he/she quickly learns they are no longer able to do what they want when they want. One is now subject to the desires of his/her spouse and therefore, at times, must do things they don’t want to do in order to accommodate their spouse’s desires. However, embedded into this marital union is a greater amount of love than each person would have received apart from one another. The same principle manifests again as the married couple has children.

The point is: if we want to cultivate relationships in which love is possible, we must be willing to relinquish freedom.

Mark Sayers echoes this sentiment in his book Reappearing Church. Sayers argues that human flourishing requires the right balance of freedom, meaning, and community. Then Sayers asserts that in the West our freedom is off the charts and, as a result, we lack meaning in life and cannot cultivate a thriving community. This leaves Western culture in a downward spiral of purposeless loneliness. Yet, I believe there is hope.

In Scripture, we see that God has always existed in a perfect community of love. From this overflow of self-giving love, God created everything that exists, and He crowned creation with humanity—His image-bearers. However, our first parents demonstrated the same desire for radical autonomy that we too face today. Adam and Eve wanted to be their own source of authority and shrugged off God as an external source of authority. This sent the created cosmos into a tailspin as sin entered the world. Humanity’s love turned inward on itself instead of outward towards God and others (Martin Luther phrased this condition homo incurvates in se, “humanity curved in on itself”). Suddenly, all of humanity’s relationships were marred: God with humanity, humanity with humanity, humanity with oneself, and humanity with nature. However, God had a plan to fix all the brokenness in our world. He, God Himself, the second member of the Trinity, condescended to human form. Jesus Christ lived the life we should have lived and died the death we deserved, paying the price for our transgressions and defeating the powers of sin. His death expiated our sin and made it possible for relationships to be restored. It is in the gospel message that we have hope. If we want to combat loneliness, we must start by trusting in Christ for the forgiveness of sin. Bonhoeffer articulates this well in Life Together when he says, “Without Christ there is discord between God and man and between man and man. Christ became the Mediator and made peace with God and among men. Without Christ we should not know God, we could not call upon Him, nor come to Him. But without Christ we also would not know our brother, nor could we come to him. The way is blocked by our own ego.” Thus, if we want to help with Westerners’ isolation, we must begin by abandoning our radical autonomy and submitting ourselves to the Lordship of Christ.

In Christ, we become new people and are given the opportunity to become the family we have always wanted. We are enabled to forsake our desire for radical autonomy, pursue purposeful relationships, and experience more meaningful lives. At Church at the Cross, one of our values is that we are a people renewed as community; our spiritual formation is a community project. So, during this pandemic season what does it look like for you to surrender your radical freedom to pursue meaningful community? For some, it might look like donning a mask in public settings. For others, it may mean extra video calls to your church community. Regardless of the form it takes, use this season to pursue Jesus, pursue others, and practice “count[ing] others more significant than yourself” (Phil 2:3). And as you do, you will begin to step out of seclusion and into communion, both with others and Christ.