No Longer Pretending

Mikayla is a very driven person. When she takes on an activity, she gives it her all and then some. This has been the case with soccer and school. She constantly feels the pressure to work hard, making sure she is the best version of herself. Mikayla believed deep down that if she can prove she is excellent, then she will be accepted by the people in her life.

“…whether it was me or who I was pretending to be.”

“I put pressure on myself that I had to do this or say that for people to like me. I was always trying to please people and make sure they like me whether it was me or who I was pretending to be.”

While she was struggling to find peace in relationships and working hard to pursue people, the less satisfied she was becoming. Then her family entered into a painful experience that compounded the struggle for Mikayla to feel loved and accepted. She was searching for ways to escape her pain.

“My family has been through a lot, and I was always trying to find ways to get away from it. I would go on bike rides or a walk or something just to try and get away from reality.”

She began to express her feelings to God. She would journal her prayers, tell God the depth of her ache, and try to remember the truth of his tender heart towards her. 

She began to understand that God is a father that loves her with a perfect, unchanging, and everlasting love.

Mikayla began to realize that she was trying to find ultimate joy, peace, and fulfillment through her achievements and relationships, and they were not satisfying her longing. She began to understand that God is a father that loves her with a perfect, unchanging, and everlasting love. He helped her come to a place where she could claim her only hope was found in Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. Through his forgiveness and a new life in the Holy Spirit, she now has her heavenly Father’s care through every experience she walks through, including the still waters, the green pastures, and the dark valleys. God gave Mikayla a new identity that is found in what he sees her as, not in what others might see in her or even how she sees herself. 1 Peter 2:9-10 says, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”

She is now seeking to understand God’s love for her more and more every day. God is creating in her heart a deeper love to serve him and love people. 

“I have seen that I am more willing to open my heart to him and serve him, and to spread his love and mercy. I also have noticed that I have gone and helped others when I have felt that I am being called to do so. If I didn't accept Jesus in my heart, I feel like I would never have done that.”

The words from 2 Corinthians 5:17 have taken on new meaning for Mikayla. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” We are excited to watch as God brings the “new things” to come in Mikayla’s story.